When I stumble upon a fellow occultist who is willing to share some of their accumulated knowledge the question of what is in it for them inevitably springs to mind. This is a healthy attitude, especially in a realm where those who would become our mentors can so easily cajole their neophytes into any number of irredeemable situations.
If I were an impressionable seeker who had simply run across The Vulpine Portfolio at random the very same thought would be raised regarding the sour and anarchic soul that sullenly puts so much of his esoteric nature on display here. I do wonder sometimes how the hyperstition that is Gavin Fox appears to those on the other side of the screen, if these words accurately illustrate the nihilistic spirit burning within my all too human frame.
Because in truth I have nothing to hide, no skeletons in my closet or scarlet women under the floorboards waiting to be found. What you read is what you get. I remain true to myself, despite the inevitable damage that such blatant honesty does to my chances of being picked up by a global new age publishing house in the coming years. You see the shadows are ever lengthening, and I do not have time to play nice.
Faced with all the internal politics at the heart of the modern occult revival the recognition has slowly dawned that we need to cut away that which is holding us all back. A collective effort striving to return the concept of sorcery to its roots as a tool of personal expression is needed. Magick was never a commodity to be sold in bookstores any more than it can be bought via overpriced online courses touted by gurus and magi alike.
It is a personal exploration of the liminal. What works for me may not do so for you, as progress is tied to the individual topography of your mind. The often overlooked need to evolve is the only true cornerstone that unites all those who wish to become more than the sum of their parts. As magickians we should strive for excellence at any cost.
The chaos current once stood for such creative freedom, yet even it has become loosely hierarchical since the birth of the IOT, a group who seem to want to guard the gate long after the rainbow pooping unicorn has already left the farm. Worse, certain more widely discussed texts are now compulsory reading for seekers wanting to walk that most fractal of paths, an idea that should be anathema to the free spirited heretics who actually wrote them in the first place.
When it comes to your personal spirituality others cannot teach you anything which you would not eventually learn on your own through wide reading and diligent experimentation anyway. Groups and authors that claim to be able to give you the cliff notes to godhood as part of some prepackaged learning plan will likely have an ulterior motive for doing so.
In the majority of instances it is simple capitalism. Your lack of experience pays their bills, creating an economy of ease for the impatient adept who wants to skip straight to the after party without any effort. Should your teacher be on the sleazy side, however, it could well be your body that pays the price instead.
As an Esoteric Accelerationist my interest is in making people think, as well as giving them access to concepts and technical data that I never had when first embarking on this journey all those years ago. I refuse to be a stepping stone for anyone as they climb through the ranks of a given initiatory organisation, and I see no reason why my readers should become one either. Nor will I allow outdated structures of secrecy stop me from gaining the knowledge required to augment my natural gifts.
If the course I plot ultimately forces my ship against some jagged rocks along the way then so be it. Live and learn or die trying, as they say. I also see no good reason whatsoever to turn a blind eye while others around me fall into the very trap that I have attempted in solitude to avoid. That is why I will continue to voice my opinion and insights, no matter how sour, regardless of whether anyone is actually listening or not.
Because I have wondered long and hard whether I am alone in my beliefs, my mistrust of groups, disgust at the consumerism at the heart of the current occult revival and disdain for those who would play at this all as if it was no more than the latest Hollywood fad. But in the end I had to learn to find strength in such nihilism and put one foot in front of the other. Because if not me, then who?