Solitaire

Those of you who have been following me for a while may have realised that I conduct the majority of my occult interactions completely online. Indeed, eschewing any form of real world coven or group structure is as important to me as actively participating in said old aeon gatherings may be to others. Despite everything that I have to offer the wider magickal community in general, not least an almost obsessive amount of learning on various weird and mysterious subjects, the choice was made long ago to always work alone. As with most things the reasons behind my reticence to share the shadows are far from simple. But then again, our truest motivations always are.

I doubt that it will come as too much of a surprise to hear that my self imposed solitude ultimately stems from failed attempts to work with others over the many years that I have spent exploring the weird. My heavily technological and mechanistic view on magick, while perhaps not exactly unique, does cause friction when attempting to conduct rituals with more traditional occultists outside of the digital plane. While I can respect a dogged adherence to tried and tested methodologies, as well as making allowances for their overly historical approach to spellcraft, they seem unable to extend the same courtesy to anything more modern in return.

I have discussed at length why I no longer consider myself a chaos magickian. Yet though that highly controversial path is not my own, I still remain invested in the development of our collective occult tools. Some of the controversy which resulted from that desire for evolution has bordered on outright hostility, leaving me with no choice but to move on in the face of constant and concerted friction. I have been belittled, ignored and even blacklisted based on my far from classical belief structure, all the while shaking my head at how Neopaganism is slowly being left behind. In truth it is not rigid and dogmatic views on spirituality that poison my interactions with others, but the very opposite.

The one overarching desire held by all Technopagans is to force evolution beyond outdated concepts. As such, when my occasional forays into the UK occult scene always end in such recrimination and ill will for all concerned it is far from surprising that I prefer the relative freedom offered by sharing my insights online. Never forget standing alone does have its benefits, not least in the ultimate freedom to choose your own level of involvement. For the most part the mock Masonic grades of initiation within many magickal paths are just methods of interpersonal control put in place to protect ageing sorcerers who are vehemently opposed to letting anyone else play with their toys.

Viewed from outside these people are obviously guilty of trying to maintain elevated positions in a spiritual community which has become stunted as a result of years spent standing still in the face of universal evolution. After what I have witnessed with regards to the politics and power gaming at the heart of the modern occult world I also recognise the very real need to cut away that which is holding us all back before returning the concept of magick to its roots as a tool of Promethean empowerment. Truth is, when it comes to your personal spirituality others cannot teach you anything you would not eventually learn on your own anyway.

Those that make a point of telling you otherwise likely have their own motives for doing so. Perhaps in some cases these might strive to be positive, and I applaud any occult or Neopagan group which manages to remain true to its founding beliefs while allowing for the evolution of both its practice and participants along the way. That said, such examples are rare at best. Sadly, even the most well meaning organisations tend to find themselves quickly infiltrated by overly ambitious and unscrupulous adepts who see them as little better than a means to an end. Crowley is by far the most obvious expression of this, but there have been many others too.

I refuse to be a stepping stone for anyone, no matter how important they view themselves. Nor will I allow outmoded and outdated structures of thought stop me from achieving my destiny as a sentient and inventive pioneer of the magickal arts. If the price is a disconnection with others of my kind in the real world then it is a tithe that I am more than willing to pay. Foxes have always drawn strength from such distance, in self reliance and a healthy mistrust of others. So I continue to tap away at the keyboard, playing solitaire with the letters on my computer screen, all the while never knowing who will ultimately read those words.

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